Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Could Fix A Toilet Like Me?

It's official. I live in a house of horrors.

Or at least a house full of stuff that breaks.
All the damn time...

Earlier this week, the big freezer in the basement died.

This was particularly tragic, because it gave no warning, and because I am a freezing fanatic. I buy things on sale, and freeze them. I frequently cook in big batches,and freeze for another day. Sigh.

Monday morning, I discovered that it was dead. About the only good thing in the situation was that I discovered it before the garbage men arrived, so that I was able to hustle and make a gajillion trips to the trash cans and throw out all the now-thawed foods before they came and did the weekly pickup.
Plus, I probably got some good exercise hauling multiple heavy trash bags out to the curb. (I'm trying to accentuate the positive...)

Ironically enough, I didn't blog about it at the time because I figure you all must be tired of reading about how this died, or how this exploded, or how that got a big hole it in, etc.

However, the breaking stuff has reached the breaking point. It refuses to be ignored. So - to appease the universe, let me share the other stuff that has broken in the last 48 hours.

Item #2*: The Toilet. Decided to stop working this morning. That's a bad thing in a one bathroom house. So - that had to be dealt with ASAP.

Kind of funny story there... remember a while back when Kelli had a shower faucet that needed replacing? She recounted a funny tale of donning a nice pair of jeans and some lip gloss and setting off for Home Depot. (this post can be read here .)

Kelli - You're. A. Genius!

Now, to clarify, I didn't dress up just to go to Home Depot. My morning started off with a meeting with some neighborhood ladies.

Now - I don't want to make it seem like I live in Coto or anything, but the women around here tend to be far better with the whole maintenance thing than I am. So I made a bit of an effort. I washed and dried my hair (instead of bundling it up in a wet knot at the back of my head...) I put on some mascara. I found a sweater with nice v-neck and very little cat fur, and put on the jeans that make my butt look good.
Well, as good as my butt ever looks...

So - this is how I was dressed when I went to Home Depot after the meeting. NEVER have I gotten such attentive service. Think I'm kidding? I had not one, not two, but three plumbing employees helping me. Although, no matter how good you may think your butt looks, let me tell you that's it's difficult to feel all cute whilst talking about plumbing problems.
Just saying...

The Tools of My New Trade
Originally uploaded by lla.

I am now the proud owner of both a shiny new plunger and a toilet auger. I know, glamorous life I lead, right??? Anyhow - without getting too graphic, I plunged and augered and all is right with the world. Right?

Well, for about 2 seconds. I had literally just done the "test flush" to make sure that all is good when I hear a big "uh-oh! MOMMY!" from the other room. Which brings me to...

Item #3: My favorite leather footstool. The one that Schecky likes too?

The one that we have to always remind him that "you can't tip that up like that and sit on it, Kiddo! You're too big and it's going to break."

Yeah, called that one right - he snapped the leg right off of it. (and it's not going back on as the frame is cracked too...)

Well, crud.

But still, I am not going to let this get me down - because you know what? There are some pretty fun things that happened today**. In fact, I'm going to take a break, and sit down and blog about the fun stuff...

Oh. Wait.

No, I'm not.

Item #4: Blogger has decided that I am a spam-robot, and has locked my blog. Wha???? A spam-robot? I think I am deeply offended on some level.

Blogger's spam-prevention robots have detected that your blog has characteristics of a spam blog***. Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.

You won't be able to publish posts to your blog until one of our humans reviews it and verifies that it is not a spam blog. Please fill out the form below to get a review. We'll take a look at your blog and unlock it in less than a business day.

Well, that does it.

Obviously, some sort of offering must be made to the "angry, breaking stuff" gods. How about a blog post - that documents all the very hard work these angry gods have done? Perhaps one that maybe no one will ever see???

Spam-bot? Seriously?

Updated to add: Irrelevant, repetitive and nonsensical text aside, Blogger has obviously decided that I am not a spam-bot. So thanks for that....

*Number 2! Hee!

**Which now, I will report upon at another time. This post is all about appeasing the "I'm angry and I'm breaking stuff" gods. Don't want to mix up the good and the frustrating stuff...

***The spam-blog definition states that spam-blogs "can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text..." Holy crap. Maybe I am one after all....


capello said...

that ipod? you got for valentines day?

good thing you got it, you totally deserve it after a day like today.



LLA said...

Aw - thanks, sweetie...

Know what else I got for Valentine's Day? A bottle of Prosecco.

Which has been chilling in the fridge since then.

I have a date with it later this evening - we're going to spend a cozy evening on the couch with the new episode of LOST!


beki said...

Sheesh! What a day!! Well, it can only get better from here, right?

3 to get ready said...

Never underestimate the power of long blond hair and high heeled boots!!!

Especially at Home Depot.

So glad it (mostly) all worked out, but sorry about your footstool!

shizzknits said...

And here I thought my day had started off bad! LOL At least all our toilets are working.

Sorry about the broken stool. :( l

Kim said...

Only you could write about a toilet dying and a favorite piece of furniture breaking & make me laugh!

MéLisa said...

Ooouuuh! What fun! Rotten food & non working potties! Such a life you lead! I know just how you feel we are a one potty house as well. So which “Thing” is that looking all sneaky & one eyed in the lovely toilet fixing paraphernalia shot? Sorry you had that you had such a crappy ;) day sweetie!

Katkat said...

lmao Your not a spam Bot!!
And you rock I went to home depot last night and I felt like Alice in wonderland. I can't fix a toilet to save my life.

laeroport said...

When it rains it pours, eh? I hope the thunderstorm is past and the sun comes out!


oilclothjunkie said...

okay, that's too stinkin' funny and I sure hope you appeased the angry gods and I really hope they don't come by my house...

3 to get ready said...

Okay, not to be a stalker and comment twice, but HOW did you get your blog unblocked so fast?? Maybe it's the "irrelevant, nonsensical text," but mine's been blocked since yesterday afternoon!!!!! Grrr.

bekka said...

wow. what a busy week. you deal with it all so gracefully, cute butt and all! i'm worn out just reading about all the repair work you're doing.