Monday, October 16, 2006

Brace Yourself For the Deluge...

That is, in effect, what the weather report is here.

Not my own personal weather report - I thought I should clarify that since I do sometimes do provide my own personal goings-on in that way. No, this is the weather forecast for pretty much the whole SouthEast.
"Brace yourself, Bridget,*" the weather forecaster seems to be saying, "there's a whole lot of stuff that's about to come pouring down...."

And, that's a pretty apt metaphor for this post... There's a whole lot of stuff that I need to share here, so it's all about to come pouring out and pouring down. So here it goes, in no real order of importance (except for the first one)...
  • First off, and this is important: thank you to all of you who have checked in with me in the past few days - with your sweet comments and emails. Seriously.
    I was a bit overwhelmed (in a good way) and even though I haven't yet been able to respond, please know that I read every single kind word, and every offer of support, and it meant so very much. I really was touched by all the thoughtfulness and concern you showed me - and that's saying something, since as a rule I can be kind of a tough nut to crack... I know, I know - kind of hard to believe since *I'm* the one that's been going around spontaneously crying.

  • Secondly, the crying did stop. It recurred sporadically as I read the aforementioned comments/emails/etc - but that wasn't scary crying. I was crying because I felt truly lucky to have become acquainted with such thoughtful, caring people.
    Once I realized that the crying seemed to be going away, I began venturing out again, and I think it's all good again. I have no idea what the heck was up with that - where it came from or why. I can tell you that I'm not sorry to see it gone....

    Some of you made me feel much better by saying that sometimes it just happens to you. The scary crying, that is. And even though I like to have nice, clear, concrete reasons for things - it did make me feel better to know that this wasn't perhaps as bizarre as it seemed to me.
    Sometimes stuff just happens.
    Hey - someone should make a bumper sticker with that on it!

    Another really good theory, from a thoughtful and wise friend, posited that I've had a big year this year, what with the retirement from teaching and all. And that even though I seem to be handling it well, the transition from girl-on-the-go to stay-at-home mom, maybe it kind of snuck up on me. I didn't think that was it, but it does sound plausible. And, there is a kind of Freudian-ness to that theory - the fact that it happened when I was in the car, literally "on the go"... I don't know, maybe I am just overthinking it...

  • I got a chance to get away this weekend - Schecky had a three day weekend from school, Bubba took the day off from work, and we headed up to my much-loved hometown of Kingsport, TN. This was not just any old visit, however. The impetus for our trip was so that I could attend my 20 year High School Reunion.**
    Which was an absolutely lovely, wonderful time. There will be more about this in a later post, I am sure. I'm still trying to process it all, and put it all into words. But the really short version is that I went to school with a bunch of really interesting, and genuinely nice people...

  • Now that the crying is done, and I'm back in town - I got up this morning ready to get back in the game. I thought a nice way to do that would be to finally photograph the bathroom - yes, the bathroom of large holes in the wall, spider colonies, and the legendary toilet seat that would not be changed. So I got my camera, turned on the bathroom light, and before I could take the first picture....the light fixture exploded.

    Yep - you read that right. Exploded. There was a flash, a boom, lots of sparks, lots of smoke and a loud girly scream. (That last one came from me, the rest came from the light fixture.) Then there was silence. And darkness. And a trip to the breaker box to make sure that the breaker was off.
    Fortunately, my fantabulous plumber also does electrical work as well. His recommendation was that I replace the fixture, rather than try to repair it.
    My first thought was "Crud. I don't want to go out shopping for light fixtures today." Then I decided to pull a Scarlett O'Hara, because you know what? That fixture is still going to be broken tomorrow, I can shop for a new one then. I drug a few extension cords and lamps from other rooms, and Voila!, a temporary fix. A woman's work is never done...

    But I think that I'm OK now and can handle it. The rest of today will be spent reading the newspapers, mail and BlogLines entries that piled up while we were gone. Perhaps with a cup of cocoa, since it got COLD here while I was away. Tomorrow the knitting and the laundry and the light fixture beckon, and I'm OK with that...

    Now let's just all keep our fingers crossed that the rains aren't that big a deal. I already had a light fixture explode today - I don't really need to deal with flood water....



* I know that this is the punchline to a joke, or at least I think it is. All I know for sure is that the accompanying joke is long since forgotten, but this phrase still makes me snicker. Which probably only means that it was a dirty joke. Since, as we've discussed here before, emotionally, I am five and stuff like that makes me snicker....

**This was Bubba's theory about why all the crying - the stress of the impending reunion. I am not sure that I go along with that theory at all. I'll be the first to admit that I was anticipating the reunion, without really looking forward to it (if that makes sense?) I was approaching it with some apprehension, rather than pure enthusiasm.
But was I stressed out by it? I didn't think so. I did get a little anxious on Friday, right before we were slated to attend the first "event". I know that some people do a complete overhaul before a reunion - and I'll admit, about two months ago (when I had to send in the reservations, etc.) I thought "I should loseweight/buynewclothes/reinventeverythingaboutmyself/blahblahblah".

Then I thought "No, I'm not going to do that." This blog started at the beginning of the year, kind of an exercise in becoming more accountable to myself. To document what I was thinking and making, and coming to terms with who I am and what I have to offer.
To buy a whole new wardrobe, to do an eight-week juice fast? That seemed like I would be taking a step backwards in terms of coming to accept who I am.
So I made a conscious decision not to do it. Which I think was the right choice.
But I did have that last-minute feeling of "I wish I weren't wearing this old sweater and last year's jacket. And, oh yeah, wish I could have dropped 10 pounds before this..." I did get my toenails painted, though - even though no one saw them but me. And I had my high heeled "dominatrix" boots polished up. That helped matters immensely. Love those boots, even if they are a few seasons old. I feel tall, and confident in them....

7 comments:

capello said...

Nothin' better than a good pair of boots.

Glad you're essentially okay, everything's okay. Now just go rip down some drapes and make a fabulous new jacket, kay?

bekka said...

reunion? oh my. you were less than 20 miles away? and i couldn't sense you? oh well. so much for the dark side of the force. i hope the reunion was great. we never had a 10th or 15th, but my 20th (shriek!) is coming up in...lemme think...oh heck, three years. can't wait to hear more about kingsport. and any KK experiences you might have had. and even better hearing how much improved you are. huzzah!

autum said...

20 year reunion? Wow, you're really old huh? Oh wait, I graduated 20 years ago.
Glad the deluge is coming from the sky and not you.

MéLisa said...

Yippy!!!! You're back! Glad that things are better & that your light fixture didn't full on attack you! Houses, ugh! There is always something! Hey I'll make you a deal, I'll get your light for you & you can get my well tank that just died for me! Deal?! Although if I wait 2 weeks they might jsut bulldoze the whole damn house & I won't need the frigging well!

All kidding aside I am glad that you are not deluging anymore!

laeroport said...

Boots are good!

And I'm glad your 20 year reunion was good. The thought of going to mine would have put me in a funk... which is why I boycotted mine when it happened in July. How petty is that? I've been out of high school longer than I was in school and I still am unwilling let go of all that resentment baggage.

As you can see, we all have issues. I'm glad the spontaneous crying is over. When I get that way I just have to stop listening to NPR. Or my husband talking conspiracy theories.

Cheers!

beki said...

Geeze woman, with all that going on it's a wonder you weren't crying hysterically non-stop! I'm glad to see that you made it through in one piece and things seem to be returning to normal.

African Kelli said...

So how is the bathroom renovation going? And I'm glad to hear the reunion and the associated stress, or not associated crying, are over and it was okay!