Are you loopy, too?
Then there's a pair of us - don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.
How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring blog!
(With many, many, many apologies to Emily Dickinson)
OK - all silliness aside here...
I've had a bit of a medical scare this week, and now I've got nothing but time to dwell upon it for the next couple of days. I thought that maybe getting some of this out on paper might help me to get it not-so-much in my head, if that makes any sense.
However - if you stopped by hoping the knitting, or the cooking, or the Schecky's poeming was going to be featured - well, you might want to check back another day. Today's prospects are not so good.
The important stuff. I'm going to be fine. I should be fine. This is probably not going to turn out to be much of anything... Just wanted to get that out of the way for those of you sweet peas who worry.
Long story short - I've had crushing headaches and vertigo for a week now. Not fun. It started off mild, but persistent, but by the weekend it was on and off. So I chose to ignore it. Anyhow, I'd decided that it was probably something sinus-y, and that if I ignored it, or willed it to get better, it would go away.
But then it started being more on than off. And when the dizziness struck, it struck hard. And personally, if I'm going to be stuck with a terrible case of the room spins? I'd like to have earned it the fun way - too many margaritas! Not just getting hit with it out of the blue...
It reached a point yesterday where the headache and nausea were persistent and bad. And I was driving - WITH SCHECKY IN THE CAR - and all of a sudden, the world turned absolutely upside down. It scared me silly. I didn't lose control of the car, but I realized that it could have just as easily gone the other way. I headed immediately to a doctor's office.
Oh yeah - side note? I'm a freak. I don't like to go to the doctor. I'm not anti-doctor, by any means. At the slightest sign of sniffle, I take Schecky. I am religious about going to the dentist, the dermatologist, the OB/GYN as many times as year as you're supposed to go. It's just the plain old regular doctor that I'm not a fan of. Don't know why, I just don't. I seem to have this misguided notion that I can cure anything that's wrong with me by sheer. force. of. will!
Anyhow - this doctor was wonderful - explained to me all the possible causes of vertigo, etc. - while reassuring me that I probably didn't have any of the scary ones. Until he started ruling out the not-scary ones. No sinus infection, no middle ear infection, etc.
So we moved on the the scary causes - like tumors. Or metabolic disorders (never have I had to give so many tubes of blood) So there was some scary waiting time as test results trickled back in. Then, the nurse noticed that by blood pressure and heart rate were all wonky. When I laid down it was normal. Like textbook normal. Ditto if I sat up. But when I stood up? It plummeted. Apparently a small drop is normal, but they were really worried about mine. Enough so that I got hooked up to an EKG machine, and that tests were immediately run to determine that I wasn't having a stroke, or a heart attack. (Or that I hadn't already had one, and just didn't know it!)
I was trying to be all brave - but on the inside I was really scared. Holy crap! I'm 38 years old. I know, I know - bad things happen to 38 year-olds. Even heart attacks and strokes. But I'm not supposed to be one of those 38 year-olds, you know???
This is getting too long, so let me wind it up. I've not had a heart attack, or a stroke. YAY! They are baffled as to what is causing my heart rate and blood pressure to drop - and it's something I've got to keep an eye on. Best guess? That the wicked-ass inner ear infection they suspect is causing the vertigo has really done a number on me, and that my whole system is stressed. Hopefully, when the inner ear infection gets cleared up - the rest should follow. Frustratingly, though - the inner ear infection is a virus, so it has just got to finish running its course.
In the meantime, though, I have some very, very, very sweet anti-vertigo medicine. It basically deals with the vertigo by knocking you out. Which isn't bad. And, before the knocking out occurs - I feel very dreamy, very floaty. I love everybody. Which is definitely not bad. I'm kind of loving my meds...
I'm forbidden from driving a car. For the next few days - I am not supposed to do anything except lie around and sleep. My doctor even ordered Bubba to wait on me hand and foot. And, as embarrassing as it is to have to call your husband in the middle of the day and say "Can you come get me?", like you're some 13 year old calling Mom after you got stuck at the mall - let me just say that when your husband comes into the doctor's office and sees you hooked up to an EKG machine??? He'll pretty much agree to do anything the doctor says!
(And poor Bubba was already freaked out before he saw that. He found out that I had gone to the doctor's only when he called my cell to ask a question about "when's dinner" and Schecky answered it and informed him that "Mommy can't come to the phone right now because we're at the doctor's office and they're taking all her blood!" He absolutely freaked, because he KNOWS I never go to the doctor. Poor Bubba, that call aged him 5 years...)
So - good drugs and bed rest are all that's on my plate for the upcoming few days. I like it when the meds make me floaty (and not care that the room is going round and round and round) but I like it better when they knock me out.
Because then I stop thinking about all the scary stuff.
Like having to think about your own mortality.
And how healthy you really are.
And how things can turn out so differently...
Anyhow - the siren song of the little yellow pill is calling, and I am going to succumb to it. And if you've made it this far - my apologies for all teh rambling...
Did I mention that one of the major side effects of my medicine is "inability to think clearly"???? It's listed right on the patient info insert...
*I started to use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid.