I'm over-thinking things again.
I've started and deleted and restarted this post numerous times...
I think my problem lies in the fact that I feel strongly about this, and my limited writing skills are failing me. Yet, I still want to say what it is I am trying to say.
So - I just hope this comes across the way that I want it to. I'm going to quit toiling over this post, and just throw it all out there.
It may not be the prettiest thing, but in it's own way, it'll be the most sincere pumpkin in the patch...
I previously wrote about why I started blogging - but those situations have all resolved themselves. Why then do I continue? The number one reason???
I am fighting the urge to insert a "duh!" here.
I am touched, delighted and surprised every single day by the women (and yes, the men, too!) that I encounter in the blogisphere - both the visitors to BadFortuneCookie and those whose sites I visit religiously.
You inspire me - not just with your craftiness and creativity - but with your sense of community and caring.
I admire the way in which you share your lives - whether it's a kickass banana bread recipe, or a joy or a sorrow. I learn something from each one of you every single day - either through a wisdom that you pass along, or the simple dignity that shows through in the way you live your life.
You inspire me to become a better writer, to observe more, to become more contemplative of the world around me and my actions in it.
I feel that I am a nicer person for having become a blogger.
I know I am more a creative person.
You've gotten me to contemplate "gratitude" and what role it plays in my life...
And gratitude really isn't something that was on my radar a year ago...
I am interested in things again - and that to me is crucial.
I decided long ago that I would rather be interested than interesting. (I frequently find that the people who are so sure that they are interesting are the people that I like least to talk to at cocktail parties, etc.)
This concept of "interestedness" is important to me, but I kind of lost that for a while.
I now feel more connected to, and fascinated by the world around me (and by that I mean what I see here in my neighborhood, as well as the worlds that you take me to.)
I no longer feel the need to be a trailblazer, to set the world on fire... I've found contentment in the domestic arts and my role as a homemaker. And in doing so, found comfort in my own skin.
You've helped me to celebrate the good, and stood with me in the not-so-good. You deliver caring and support when I need it, and the occasional "snap out of it" when that's appropriate.
And, damn, so often you make me laugh...
In turn, you've shared your ups and downs, and allowed me to celebrate and commiserate with you.
I feel a part of a community.
You've taught me that my house is not just a place to dump stuff as I race from place to place. For the first time ever, I am attempting to actually make improvements to
click on photo to learn more about this stuff
Baby Steps, to be sure - but it's more than I've done in the 14 years that I've lived here...This began the year as an empty corner, save for the piano. Which was continually buried under a pile of jackets/books/mail/etc. And, it's the first thing you see when you walk in the front door. This is much nicer to be greeted with!)
You know me - I'm not one of those people who tries to sugarcoat everything and put forth the myth that "Oh my life is so perfect, blah blah blah... Look at how well I do things..."* What goes into these pages is kind of just me, warts and all. And I love how accepting you are of that.
So thank you - thank you for a wonderful year of inspiration, support, and community.
I'll never be able to repay you all for all that I've gained - but you make me want to try.**
*And honestly, I quit reading those types of blogs months and months ago. If I want to read a fairy tale, I'll pick up Mother Goose. Or a Martha Stewart publication...
**If I go all "you complete me" on you, you have my permission to kick my ass....