(oh - I guess that means that the introspective navel gazing that I threatened in my last post is coming to fruition. Consider yourselves warned...)
This time last year - to put it eloquently - sucked.
In a big, total and complete way.
I don't feel like subjecting any of us to a rehash of it - it's nothing unusual, or unique (I'm sad to say) - but the nutshell version is that both my personal and professional lives were rocked to the very core, in a very scary way. Both my marriage and my job
These instabilities began to color every aspect of my life - I began to doubt myself as a mother, a friend, and a person. Let's just wrap this up by saying that I was desperately, desperately unhappy and untethered.
Long story, getting longer - I stumbled upon the world of blogs.
I was familiar with the concept, of course. In fact, one of my best friends had maintained a blog for years. I loved his blog, the Digital LandPhil, because it allowed me to keep up with his goings-on since he up and moved across the country on me. Sure, we still called/emailed - but his site allowed me to see more into the day in/day out workings of his life. As much as I enjoyed the LandPhil, though, it never occurred to me that it was something that I would ever do.
Until things went south on me.
Suddenly, it seemed like something I needed to try.
Part of it was, honestly, that it was something that I could control - this at a time in my life when there was nothing else that it seemed that I could.
Mainly, though, the idea was that it would give me a sense of accountability. There were so many amazing people out there, doing so many amazingly creative things. I wanted to get back in touch with that part of myself again. Not in a "keeping up with the Joneses" or an "everyone's clever nowadays, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon!" sort of way. More in an "I want to reconnect with that creative side again, and this seems like a way to make it happen kind of way...." Now that I think about it, that very first post does a much better job of explaining it than I am currently doing...
Now we fast forward back to the present day - with almost a year of blogging under my belt. What a difference...
The job, as some of you know, fell by the wayside. And I'm OK with that (although it took a longass time to get to that point.) The marriage, I am pleased to say, is healed, and in many, many ways stronger than it ever was. I'm delighted with that. And I am happier now with my life and myself than I have ever been. Which rocks. It just simply does.
I hope that doesn't come across as all smug, and as if I am trying to imply that I am oh-so-perfect. 'Cause that's actually a funny thought... But I am coming to terms with my shortcomings, and my limitations - and am accepting of them.
I'm not all that, but I'm not all bad, either...
You know what? This post is getting long. And I've written/deleted/rewritten this next part far too many times already. That part's not quite done yet, I guess. I seem to have covered the "Why I Blog" part pretty well. In the next installation of this series we'll examine why I continue blogging, and the many, many ways in which it continues to surprise and delight me on a daily basis.
Thanks for being here....