A second entry for the list of Stupid Happiness....
I got a good fortune in a fortune cookie!
To get an idea of just how big a deal this is - please keep reading...
You know how when you get Chinese food (or Thai, or Vietnamese - basically anyplace where you might get a fortune cookie...) there is always one person at the table who gets the sucky fortune?
Well - that person is me.
This is just a fact of life, and has been for as long back as anyone can remember.
In fact, it's where the title of this blog comes from - when I was trying to come up with a name, I asked Bubba for help. He's funny and good with words. I was having a difficult time coming up with a name that I felt summarized "me" and who I am.
So I asked Bubba: "What's something unique about me? I need a few quick words that sum me up."
Without hesitating, he replied "You always get the crappy fortune in your cookie".
And so, Bad Fortune Cookie was born.*
But I'm digressing - the point that I am trying to make is that no matter how bad, or trite, or cliched your fortune cookie fortune might be - mine will be worse.
I've got proof - I've been saving fortune cookie fortunes for - gosh, maybe 16 years? 20? Somewhere in there.
I've literally got hundreds of them, which I keep in a little pottery jar by the stove. These fortunes aren't all sucky - a lot of them aren't mine. If you and I were to eat Chinese food together and you offered me your fortune (which happens a lot. I get a lot of "Wow - your fortune sucks! Want mine?" pity fortunes.) I'd keep it. I keep them all...
It's been a long-running joke in my family. I used to take it personally. Heck - I was a teenager, I took everything personally. But one day something happened. Something that made me realize that it was simply my lot in life to get the bad fortune, and to get over it.
It was when Bubba and I were dating. He had taken me home to meet his parents, I believe for the first time. And we'd gone out for Chinese food.
Bubba was telling his parents about my fortune cookie curse. And everyone seemed to think it was hilarious. I protested - "It's not my fault!" I cried, "*I* don't get to pick my cookie - the waitperson picks it out for you! I have no control over the cookie that I get!"
Bubba's daddy excused himself from the table. Long story longer - seems that he knew the owners of this particular restaurant. He went to the owner and explained my predicament. So he and the owner return to the table, bearing between them a 30 gallon trash can.
Filled with fortune cookies!
I could pick out my very own cookie. At last - my true fortune would be revealed...
I took a deep breath.
I closed my eyes.
I plunged my paw deep into the 30 gallons of cookies, and rummaged around until I found the one that felt like "mine."
With all eyes upon me, I opened the cookie.
Everyone leaned in expectantly.
So, yeah. It's my lot in life to get the craptacular fortune in my cookie. I don't let it get to me anymore. It is what it is. And it's pretty darn funny...
But not this week! Not for me and my young, attractive and gifted family!
AN ABBREVIATED GALLERY OF REGRETTABLE FORTUNES
You may view my commentary on any fortune by clicking upon it.
*In retrospect, I wish I'd been quick enough to come up with Ms.FortuneCookie - but alas.
Other blog names I wish I'd thought up?