Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Well, crud...

The Saddest Bananas in the Whole Wide World....
The Saddest Bananas in the Whole Wide World...
Originally, this was going to be my "before" shot...

I was planning on doing something all clever today - something along the lines of "When Life Hands You Some Really Skanky Looking Bananas, Make Banana Bread!" or something equally perky. But, as it turns out, sometimes life just hands you a bunch of skanky bananas, and that's all you end up with.

Let me explain....

I was inspired by Myra over at My Little Mochi - she had a very nice post about banana bread, and was kind enough to share the recipe. And it was some fine looking banana bread, too.
I also remembered that I had a freezer full of icky bananas - mainly because Schecky reminded me. He went in to get a popsicle the other day, and came out complaining that the freezer was full of "old gross dead bananas."*

So I decided to make some banana bread of my own - and it was meant to be! I actually had absolutely everything that I needed - even down to exactly one stick of butter- no less, no more! Perfect! And if I got started now, it would be done just in time for eating after dinner! Sure, I was cutting it kind of close, time-wise... but I was on a mission, darn it!

So I got out all my ingredients - and began. Cream the butter and sugar. Check. Add twice as much vanilla as the recipe calls for, because anything that is good with vanilla in it will be that much better with twice as much, right? Check. Add an egg. Check. Add the second egg - and bloody hell...

No - the gratuitous swearing is not due to all the lovely British TV I've been watching lately. That's because that's literally what came out of the second egg.

It. Was. So. Incredibly. Gross.
I'm totally still shuddering as I type this....

It's funny - I've always worried about what a "bad egg" would look like. I'm kind of freakishly squeamish about it. That's why I almost always break the eggs into a small cup one at a time before adding them to anything.
Almost always - but not tonight....because I was in a rush. So, down the DisposAll with one barely begun batch of banana bread. Down the drain with my one and only stick of butter....

I'm know that there is a moral in here about how bad things are more likely to happen when you take short cuts. On the bright side, I no longer have to be phobic about wondering what a bad egg looks like. It didn't kill me, and I suppose that I am now stronger for it.
Although, I don't think that I will ever call anyone a bad egg ever again.

At the very least, it will be a very, very, very long time before I break an egg directly into my recipe again.....


*Why so many gross, old, dead bananas, you may ask? Well, Bubba and Schecky keep insisting that they love bananas, and they complain because I "never buy bananas." Well, I don't buy bananas unless nagged because:

1. I really, really, really hate bananas. Always have, always will. In fact, when Scheck was a toddler, and you know how toddlers love bananas, I finally learned how to be in the same room with an open banana without gagging.
I hate the smell, the texture, the taste - everything. Yet, ironically, I like fake banana flavoring - like those scary yellow popsicles that no one else likes, and banana flavored Laffy Taffy.

2. Despite what they say, they don't eat them and then they just go all ick. So I throw them in the freezer, thinking that one day I'll make banana bread with them...

3 comments:

autum said...

I was just about to eat dinner when I read this, glad it wasn't eggs. GROSS!! I would have thrown up if that had happened to me, gagged violently at the very least. Being a nurse I've seen lots of human blood and yucky stuff and it doesn't bother me, but gross food stuff gags me. OK, I can't think about it anymore..... just gross!

3 to get ready said...

Were those by any chance fertile eggs? I just read where fertile eggs were supposed to be better for you, but I immediately decided never to have them in my house so I could avoid exactly your situation! EWWW!

capello said...

I love banana bread, but I can't stand the smell of them uncooked either.

I have a "food intollerance" to them anyway, I need them cooked in order to not get sick from eating them.

And what did the rotten egg look like? No photo?

When I was about 10 and friend of mine and I were cooking at her house, and she was cracking eggs into the brownie mix bowl. I *told* her to do it in a seperate bowl and she didn't listen. The last egg was full of blood (ewwwwww) and then, instead of throwing the whole thing out, she got out a spoon and TOOK OUT ALL THE BLOODY PARTS, OH MY GAWD THAT WAS GROSS. And then she cooked it and fed it to her family. GROSS!