Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Getting Over Myself...

I do realize just exactly what an utter and complete pill I've been these past few days - and I do appreciate you all not only putting up with it, but offering such nice comments and e-mails of encouraging words.
I'm not sure I understand this nice outpouring, though - I'm already kind of sick of the moping, I can't imagine it's been all that entertaining to read!

I'm really working on that self-administered kick in the behind - because, as stated above, I am already tired of the moping!
I recognize how ludicrous I am - I'm pretty darn lucky; we're all healthy, we're all doing fine; I'm in the enviable position of not having to work* - and here I am whinging on about how I feel adrift. I think I just needed to get it out of my system. Sorry for venting...

I actually took the bull by the horns yesterday, and got a lot of stuff done around here. Nothing exciting, mind you, just a bunch of household-y and errand-y things. However, this domestic ephemera gave me the illusion of having accomplished something.
Hey, maybe I'm onto something: Perhaps the path to self-fulfillment and actualization lies on the road to dropping off the dry-cleaning... Yeah.
Maybe not, but it was a start....

Anyway, I am starting to feel better about things. And I promise that I won't become one of those people who won't leave the house without consulting the iChing, or reading my Tarot cards or something - but I did venture to see if the MusicGods were in agreement that it was time for the wallowing to stop. I think this is a far more optimistic Shuffle , don't you?
  • Justice and Independence 85 - John Mellencamp (Scarecrow - 1985)
  • Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog (The Muppet Movie - 1979)
  • Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1 - The Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - 2002)
  • Hole in My Life - The Police (Outlandos d' Amour - 1978)
  • (I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone - The Monkees (More of the Monkees - 1967)
  • Can the Circle Be Unbroken - The Carter Family (In the Shadow of Clinch Mountain - 1935)
  • Clap Your Hands - They Might Be Giants (No! - 2002)
  • Don't Cha Stop - The Cars (The Cars - 1978)
  • (Don’t Go Back to) Rockville - R.E.M. (Eponymous - 1988)
  • See How We Are - X (See How We Are - 1988)

Of course, "Hole In My Life" is still a little ominous. And the 11th song that came up was "Awful" by Hole (Celebrity Skin, 1998) - but that doesn't count, because it was 11th. I think everything's going to be OK.

Craftiness and reading to resume shortly.

Oh - and the dragon? Don't you love him? This is an old picture, from one of our trips to Barcelona. I adore Barcelona - and thinking about it always makes me happier. Happy place. Happy drooling dragon.

*(financially, that is**. I may need to work out of some misguided sense of self-worth...)

**I don't say that to be all boastful, and I hope it didn't come out that way! Trust me, our household would be in a much more enviable position if I did work! It's just that the $6,000 a year that I earned teaching (and I wish I were kidding about that) didn't make or break us... It helped with extras, like vacations and eating out, but Bubba's got the main stuff covered, and we live real cheap...


bekka said...

you've been to barcelona and you're all mopey? oh. there goes any symphaty i ever had for you! JK!

lovely mosaic dragonly thing.

so i know how you feel about being grateful for what we have. when i think about how unhappy i am with my workplace i must remind myself how much better my job is than oh 50% of the working population? or, how many people would absolutely love to have my daily worklife autonomy.

get back to crafting. i'm sure those little bears of yours, and a few washclothes, will get you back on track!

Angela said...

Well you still sound upbeat and that is a good thing. The groovy dragon is also a good thing.
Musicgods are being a bit kinder too I see. All good things.
I'm going to have to read through some of your archives and see what this homemade washcloth thing is all about...sounds interesting....8-)

capello said...

i swear, you'll be a millionaire if you just sell those washcloths on etsy.

Ryan said...

Barecelona is also one of my favorite places in the world. I saw this photo and smiled for the rest of the day. I have several similar ones from my trip in 1999.

Isn't the Park just wonderful?