Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Getting Over Myself...


I do realize just exactly what an utter and complete pill I've been these past few days - and I do appreciate you all not only putting up with it, but offering such nice comments and e-mails of encouraging words.
I'm not sure I understand this nice outpouring, though - I'm already kind of sick of the moping, I can't imagine it's been all that entertaining to read!

I'm really working on that self-administered kick in the behind - because, as stated above, I am already tired of the moping!
I recognize how ludicrous I am - I'm pretty darn lucky; we're all healthy, we're all doing fine; I'm in the enviable position of not having to work* - and here I am whinging on about how I feel adrift. I think I just needed to get it out of my system. Sorry for venting...

I actually took the bull by the horns yesterday, and got a lot of stuff done around here. Nothing exciting, mind you, just a bunch of household-y and errand-y things. However, this domestic ephemera gave me the illusion of having accomplished something.
Hey, maybe I'm onto something: Perhaps the path to self-fulfillment and actualization lies on the road to dropping off the dry-cleaning... Yeah.
Maybe not, but it was a start....


Anyway, I am starting to feel better about things. And I promise that I won't become one of those people who won't leave the house without consulting the iChing, or reading my Tarot cards or something - but I did venture to see if the MusicGods were in agreement that it was time for the wallowing to stop. I think this is a far more optimistic Shuffle , don't you?
  • Justice and Independence 85 - John Mellencamp (Scarecrow - 1985)
  • Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog (The Muppet Movie - 1979)
  • Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1 - The Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - 2002)
  • Hole in My Life - The Police (Outlandos d' Amour - 1978)
  • (I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone - The Monkees (More of the Monkees - 1967)
  • Can the Circle Be Unbroken - The Carter Family (In the Shadow of Clinch Mountain - 1935)
  • Clap Your Hands - They Might Be Giants (No! - 2002)
  • Don't Cha Stop - The Cars (The Cars - 1978)
  • (Don’t Go Back to) Rockville - R.E.M. (Eponymous - 1988)
  • See How We Are - X (See How We Are - 1988)

Of course, "Hole In My Life" is still a little ominous. And the 11th song that came up was "Awful" by Hole (Celebrity Skin, 1998) - but that doesn't count, because it was 11th. I think everything's going to be OK.

Craftiness and reading to resume shortly.

Oh - and the dragon? Don't you love him? This is an old picture, from one of our trips to Barcelona. I adore Barcelona - and thinking about it always makes me happier. Happy place. Happy drooling dragon.


*(financially, that is**. I may need to work out of some misguided sense of self-worth...)

**I don't say that to be all boastful, and I hope it didn't come out that way! Trust me, our household would be in a much more enviable position if I did work! It's just that the $6,000 a year that I earned teaching (and I wish I were kidding about that) didn't make or break us... It helped with extras, like vacations and eating out, but Bubba's got the main stuff covered, and we live real cheap...

4 comments:

bekka said...

you've been to barcelona and you're all mopey? oh. there goes any symphaty i ever had for you! JK!

lovely mosaic dragonly thing.

so i know how you feel about being grateful for what we have. when i think about how unhappy i am with my workplace i must remind myself how much better my job is than oh 50% of the working population? or, how many people would absolutely love to have my daily worklife autonomy.

get back to crafting. i'm sure those little bears of yours, and a few washclothes, will get you back on track!

Angela said...

Well you still sound upbeat and that is a good thing. The groovy dragon is also a good thing.
Musicgods are being a bit kinder too I see. All good things.
I'm going to have to read through some of your archives and see what this homemade washcloth thing is all about...sounds interesting....8-)

capello said...

i swear, you'll be a millionaire if you just sell those washcloths on etsy.

Ryan said...

Barecelona is also one of my favorite places in the world. I saw this photo and smiled for the rest of the day. I have several similar ones from my trip in 1999.

Isn't the Park just wonderful?

Best,
Ryan